I had no idea they were suffering.8/26/2018 Last week I shared my personal story of how I became a hairdresser, overcame alcohol abuse, and a few incredibly difficult obstacles I’ve encountered. I had more response from that post than any other blog posts I’ve written. The responses have been overwhelming, they have been heartwarming and full of kindness. The first response I received said, “I had no idea your drinking was that bad, I had no idea you were suffering.” That last line lingered with me for days.
The following week a lot of people in my life opened up about traumas or struggles they are facing, from severe debt, drug abuse, self-loathing, lost in what to do with their life, and the list goes on. These people whom I am very close with, dealing with such traumatic and stressful situations, I had no idea they were suffering. There’s that line again, “I had no idea they were suffering”. It seems that when we suffer, we tend to suffer alone. When I was first confronting my alcohol abuse I isolated myself for months, I didn’t tell my family how bad it was, and I removed myself from my friend circle. The reason for my isolation was because I didn’t want to be a burden on others, I was afraid of the shame and guilt, and I thought I could battle it on my own. From my experience I don’t recommend facing your demons alone, it makes it so much more difficult. Once I started coming out of that difficult time I began opening to my friends and family, I wish I was open about it all sooner, their love and support helped me and continues to be a constant support in my sobriety. It wasn’t until this last week that I truly grasped the importance of a support system. By sharing my story, I feel it allowed others to share their story. We all have our struggles, our pain, our trauma, all of us suffer at one point or another, but it seems like a lot of us suffer alone and in the dark and we must stop this. By sharing our experiences with one another not only does it help our own healing process, but it helps others in their darkness or healing. Sharing our stories creates a web of interconnection and brings us closer to each other, in this world of social media and technology we can connect with each other on a global level and help each other through our stories and experiences. We have the ability and technology to reach out to help others as well as reach out right at the tips of our fingers. In these times of uncertainty, I feel that our interconnection will get us through a lot of our dark times and help heal us. Take the time to share your experiences to those who need to hear it, but in turn, listen to those who need to tell their story; be open, compassionate, and empathic to all those around you. Even those who we may view as our enemy, as the Dalai Lama said, “Every single being, even those who are hostile to us, is just as afraid of suffering as we are, and seeks happiness in the same way we do. Every person has the same right as we do to be happy and not to suffer. So, let's take care of others wholeheartedly, of both our friends and our enemies. This is the basis for true compassion.” Be compassionate to each other, love each other, in the end we are all in this rat race game we call life. To end this blog post I wanted to leave a list of books that have helped me in my healing process, this is for those who are going through some rough times and perhaps are not ready to reach out to a community, I hope this will be of use to some. Remember, to love yourself, be compassionate to others, and that you are enough, DJH The 30-Day Sobriety Solution Jack Canfield and Dave Andrews The Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz The Gifts of Imperfection Berne Brown Conscious Living Gay Hendricks The Bhagavad Gita Stephen Mitchell
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Sri Patahbi Jois says that yoga is 99% practice 1% theory, this saying is true not only about yoga but also in the creative world we live in, this applies to hairdressing, tattoo artists, nail technicians, painters, and any other area of creative study. As a hairdresser I learned a lot from cosmetology schools, textbooks, classes, educational videos, and seminars, however all that information was useless unless I put it into practice. The practice of theory is what is powerful, scholars have studied the theories of yoga but cannot fully understand yoga without the practice. The same applies for the world of hair, chemists have designed hairstyling products, but do not fully grasp how it can change and shape hair since they do not practice hairdressing. The theory is a 1% of your life, to shift the other 99% you need to practice the theory and then 100% of your life can be changed forever, but it starts with 1%. A teacher and good friend of mine, Rebekah Cooper, says, “Start somewhere and it can take you anywhere.”
In 2008 I took a step, I dropped out of college, quit my job at the non-profit I was working for, and spent a summer drinking heavily, smoking a ton of pot, experimenting with hallucinogenic drugs, and bouncing from job to job. With having no direction, I could go or do whatever I wanted, however my parents were not thrilled about me quitting my salary job and leaving college, so I needed to act and do something. With nothing else going on I decided to enroll into cosmetology school, I figured I needed to get a trade, it would give me some sort of direction until I figured out what I really wanted to do. After one week in school I realized I found my passion! I loved hair, it was fun, creative, and gave me a sense of excitement I had not had in a long time. To help get through school I got a part time job at Bath and Body Works, I would go to school for eight hours and then work nights for another four hours. A few months into this routine and something unforeseen happened, I got busted for possession of marijuana. It wasn’t enough quantity to get arrested for, but I was placed into drug court where I had to go in for random drug tests, attended narcotic anonymous classes, see a drug counselor, and go in for monthly court dates. Here I am at 19, in drug court, going to school full time, and working a part time job. This was one of the hardest times in my life. Six months later I finished my drug court and cosmetology school. With being clean and sober for the last six months I decided to keep to my sobriety, however I did lose a lot of friends in those last six months, all we had in common was drinking and smoking. With having no friends and living back at home with the parents I needed to figure something out, I needed to start making friends and get involved in a community. There was a yoga studio a few blocks from my parent’s house, I walked down one day after work and took a class, I had practiced yoga before in college but at the time I was already burned out on school, so I didn’t take it seriously. That night I had such a wonderful experience, the staff of the studio was friendly, and I had a friend from years ago who was teaching there, after that class I bought a monthly membership and would practice daily. Life seemed full of possibilities and opportunities, I was starting a new career in hair and was becoming a yogi! About a year into cosmetology and into my yoga practice I landed a job with a product company called UNITE, where I would travel the country teaching classes and organize regional events. I also become reunited with some of my old friends from my non-profit days. Slowly I started practicing less yoga and begin drinking with my friends, going out to clubs and bars, slowly picking up old habits that I worked so hard to eliminate. Being out on the road with the new job had a sense of excitement and boredom, drinking in celebration within the work, but also drinking to kill time in airports. In 2013 I moved to San Diego, California where I went to work for a salon and manage the UNITE Academy. When I moved out there I felt like it was a new start, I poured myself into my work, started meeting new friends and I felt like I was reborn in a different world. As I settled into my new life I began practicing yoga at home, became a vegetarian, and took time to enjoy the outdoors. It was living in paradise! In the beginning of 2014, that all changed, the salon let me go due to financial issues, UNITE offered me a fulltime job in their corporate offices as a program coordinator and with no other options I took the job. With the new job I had a long commute and I was no longer practicing cosmetology, I quickly became miserable, I began drinking more, smoking more marijuana, and pulling into myself. After working this job for only a few months I quit and moved back to Salt Lake City where I brought my alcohol and drug behaviors with me. Fast forward to 2017, I had stopped practicing yoga, I was heavier than I had ever been, my boyfriend of 18 months had broken up with me, and I was drinking large quantities on a daily basis. Using alcohol and other substances to numb the pain of the breakup, to mask my low self-esteem, and to reinforce my story telling mind of my unworthiness and shame. I set up home in this dark place for a few months, feeling and experiencing one of the lowest times of my life. Then a breaking point happened, I couldn’t feel this way anymore, I couldn’t drown my sorrows into a bottle. I sought out help. In October of 2017 I started seeing a therapist to help me with my grief and substance abuse issues. Beginning the road to recovery with my therapist I stopped drinking and began taking care of myself, learning to set boundaries within myself, my career, and my friends. I needed to nurture my own needs before others. Going through this growth had been incredibly helpful, I did find myself back where I was the first time I got sober. My social circle had slowly vanished because I pushed them away, I couldn’t be around alcohol or substances, I had isolated myself for the sake of my sobriety. Instead of falling into the sadness of being alone, I took that opportunity to focus on my needs and desires and to dive into the core of myself. A few months into this process of self-growth and discovery I had found my way back to yoga, I heard about this gym called The Front, it’s a rock-climbing gym with a full yoga studio. After my first class there I signed up for a membership, it felt like I had come home. The teachers and staff were incredibly helpful and compassionate, I was embraced into the community the second I walked through the doors. Coming back to the practice helped me more than anything in my path to recovery, I am able to continue to stay sober, attract likeminded friends, and yoga helped me become a better hairstylist. The yoga practice allows me to be more present and compassionate with my clients, friends, and family, the practice also has helped me with the physical pains I had acquired in the ten years of hairdressing, like tight wrists, shoulder problems, sore legs and feet, and my posture/stance is more comfortable when I stand behind the chair for eight hours a day. Experiencing how yoga transformed my life in times of pain, grief, suffering and watching how from the dukkha (shit) I was able to create a fertilizer from which to plant new seeds and watch them grow and flourish. With this I wanted to share my story and the experience of my yoga practice as a hairdresser. I committed to my sobriety in October of 2017, I have had three experiences with alcohol since and each time I remembered why I stopped drinking, it interferes with my well-being, my yoga practice, and my ability to work in the salon, but above all that, it makes my body feel like garbage the next day. I plan on keeping to my sobriety, but it’s a daily challenge, all I know is today I am sober and that’s enough. Since joining The Front, I have signed up for my first yoga teacher training, upon completion this December I plan on teaching a few classes a week, continue to practice cosmetology, and strive towards sharing my knowledge and skill set to help others look and feel their best. Throughout this entire journey I have learned many valuable lessons, but the one that carries with me everywhere is that I will always be a student first, a student in cosmetology, in yoga, in my sobriety, and of course in life. I share my story to hopefully inspire others, to show that we all have our struggles and sharing our stories can help others and help ourselves heal. I share my pain and struggle to say, “You’re not alone” and “You can do it”, you just have to start somewhere. DJH And the beat goes on and on.8/12/2018
One of the best concerts I have ever attended was to see Cher in Las Vegas, she has always been one of my favorite performers and actresses and to finally see her in concert was such a gift! The reason why I am so drawn to her is because she is the perfect package, she is a performer to so many different platforms, she has continued to grow and evolve her style throughout her entire career, making her still an idol in her 70’s. With her recent appearance in Mama Mia Here we go again and her new album Dancing Queen to be released later this year, she is showing the world that passion, drive, and love can keep the beat going.
Cher, born as Cherilyn Sarkisian in El Centro, California, on May 20, 1946 is a power house diva, Cher has had a No.1 hit in the last six decades and has won a Golden Globe, Academy Award, and a Grammy, among a long list of other awards. Besides her amazing career in film and music, Cher has been a fashion icon since the start of her career, dripping in beautiful Bob Mackie gowns, to having beautiful make designs by Kevin Aucoin, and of course a room full of wigs in all sorts of colors, textures, and different fabrics. Before the Jenner’s and Kardashians brought to life the power of wigs and contour, Cher created the trends we see today, whether it was showing up to the premier of Burlesque in a beautiful orange wig or having a contoured jaw line in the 1970’s she pushed forward the trends that are currently in style. The fact that this woman can create trends and evolve with them is what makes her, in my opinion, one of the greatest trend setters and fashion icons of the last sixty years. She has never been afraid to try new bold styles and experiment with her fashion. She is an inspiration for us all to not fear exploring our self-identity throughout our entire life time, to be fearless, and try new things; to purchase a wig, or to try that shade of lipstick we love but are fearful of, or get a new trendy outfit because we deserve it. To this day Cher is still inspiring others by showing you can stay fashionable and trendy at any point in life. I feel she has inspired an entire generation to keep coming back to your passions in life, because that is what keeps us young, and also to never say never. This woman has had more farewell tours than I can count but she keeps coming back and delivering to her fans and the range of her fans is so vast, from young twenty years old to eighty years old. Enjoy, as we turn back time this week and look back on the outstanding and awesome fashion of an icon who is continually inspiring the world in fashion and hair trends. Below are some of my favorite styles of Cher and a few of her music videos that show the range of her style, talent, and uniqueness. To end with one of my favorite quotes by Cher, "If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life..' DJH
I do not own the rights to these photographs. Found via Google search. Thank you! :)
What the hell is Balayage?8/4/2018
This week I wanted to talk about Balayageˌ pronounced (balāˈyäZH), this is a French term for sweeping. This is a haircoloring technique that applies the color free handed with a paint brush or color brush, the color is swept on the hair and creates a soft, sun kissed look. This can create a subtle effect or a more dramatic look.
This trend has been in fashion for the last couple years and seems to be going nowhere. With more clients asking for it and not really knowing what it is (or how to pronounce it) I wanted to take a moment to educate the community about this hair trend. The reason why this trend is so popular is because it’s a softer way to highlight and color hair, compared to the traditional highlighting techniques that we have seen in the past. This creates a ‘sun kissed’ look when traditional highlights can create more of a ‘streaked’ look. The grow out of this coloring technique is also very subtle, with this color you can bring the lightest colors to the roots or drop them a few inches from the roots to create a shadow at the root. This shadow can lengthen the longevity of the color, meaning fewer visits to the salon. This technique may cost more money but will save the client more money because it will be less visits to the salon. If you’re wondering, 'Is balayage right for me?' The answer is most likely yes, the reason why is because it can be subtle for those who have never colored their hair or dramatic for those people who like a change. The tonality of the color can be adjusted to fit your skin complexion. It doesn’t have to be blonde, you can do variations of brunette, reds, or even fashion colors, although I would discuss this with your hairdresser to find the color, shade, and tone that best suits you. Below are some photos of different examples of balayage and a video on the pronunciation of the word,. Until next week. DJH THE GEOGRAPHY OF HAIRThe Geography of Hair is devoted to share experiences and stories in cosmetology and how it has affected people, myself, or us as a society. Archives
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