Feel the fear and explore it.

​Fear is an emotion just like love, it should be explored into its fullest, and just like love, fear has a beautiful side and a frightening side. This week’s post is a two parter, half this week and the other half next week.

Let me be the first to welcome you to this dialogue on fear.

Within the last week fear has been a factor in my life and for those around me. I am beginning some new projects which I will announce next week, but because I am diving into something new and exciting it terrifies me. Will it work out the way I intended? What will the response be? What if I fail? The fear has almost stopped me on this next journey.

I’ve also seen fear in the salon. This week I had a new client, a woman in her mid-late twenties, she had never colored her hair and wanted a very subtle ombre, nothing to dramatic, but a change. I had a lengthy consultation with her about the process, what to expect, pricing, etc. I apply the hair color, let it process, rinse, tone, and blow dry her hair. Once she saw the color she hesitated. I asked her, “So… what do you think?” She said, “It’s dramatic, it’s a pretty color, I’m not used to seeing my hair this way.”  I’m thinking, of course not! You’ve never colored your hair before. I told her to wear it for a couple days and to keep in touch with me as she adjusted to her new hair. Two days later I get a message from her saying she loves it and wants to go lighter next time. The moral of the story is she pushed through the fear of coloring her hair, having a change, and discovered something new about herself.

When we decide to push past fear it is uncomfortable, scary, it leaves us open, raw, and vulnerable, and it SUCKS! Pushing through though expands our horizon, gives us the opportunity to learn something new, or even get a reward. We need to push past the fear. I’ve never heard anyone say, “I’m so glad I didn’t face my fears!”

I have a friend who is approaching his forties, he is one of the kindest people I have ever met, he is funny, smart, handsome, but full of fear. He tells me almost weekly that he hates being vulnerable, he’s never been good about facing his fears or opening up towards others. I love this man, but our friendship is at a stand still because of his fears, fear of going anywhere besides his house and work, fear of expressing his wants and desires, I have empathy for him because I’ve experienced that crippling fear.

The first time I ever designed hair and makeup for a Utah Opera production I was full of fear and doubt. I thought I wasn’t good enough, talented enough, I thought what if it the director hates my work. But I accepted the job and I did the best that I could, I pushed through the fear and guess what? It was a nightmare! The director hated the hairstyles I created, we had opposite opinions on what the lead female should look like, I was yelled at, it was passable work but nothing exciting or rememberable. I pushed through the fear, I did the best I could, and I may not have conquered the job, but I conquered the fear.

I took that horrible experience and learned from it, the next show I designed by myself was La Boheme. I felt confident and terribly scared, I had learned communication skills and technical skills from my last experience and was going to deliver the best hair that I could.

It was a tremendous success, the director of the show was very pleased, I impressed the company, and most importantly, I made my mentor proud. I had to dive through all that initial fear again though. What if I screw up again? What if the director hates me or the work? Etc. Diving deep into that fear and failure was horrible, but I fought through and was able to create something I was proud of and take some skills and lessons from it.

Don’t let fear control your life, control the fear you have in your life. Recognize your fears and dive deep into them. I have a fear of heights, but that doesn’t stop me from rock climbing. I challenge you this week to recognize one fear you have, no matter how small or large and to explore it, maybe not conquer it, but at least explore the depths of the fear.

Next week I will be sharing something new and exciting I’ve been working on, it scares me to share this with you, but I would never suggest you to a challenge and not do it myself.

Ride the fear like the waves in an ocean.
​
DJH